It was humility that brought me through
/Question 3: Share a transforming experience like Saul to Paul which came about reading Skip’s article(s).
One of Skip’s articles that I’ve found deeply moving is “Restoring Christian healing in contemporary times” (Journal, December 2011). Rather than being an engine of change, this article sums up the change that has been taking place in me over the last several years, prompted always by the Bible, Mrs. Eddy’s leadership, and Skip’s voice, with its patience, humor, bluntness, and rigor. And love. Always love.
In the article, Skip describes his visit to Adelaide Still, a Christian Scientist who had worked as Mrs. Eddy’s personal maid. She told Skip, “You know, Mrs. Eddy often revised Science and Health and even her personal letters. Frequently, she would insert various changes of words or phrases with her pen, yet finally throw the whole away and begin again. Then she would say to me, ‘Adelaide, look in the wastebasket and find that last paper we threw away. I think it has something in it we might use.’… [Miss Still] would then willingly fish in the wastebasket until she found and handed to Mrs. Eddy the exact piece of crumpled paper.
“[Miss Still] certainly wasn’t telling me that Mrs. Eddy…was making mistakes or having to use trial and error. What was coming through to me was Mrs. Eddy’s humility, the impersonality of her work, the spiritual demonstration involved. Her patient ‘waiting on God’ assured that what was written would, in fact, be God’s own giving.
“The encounter…was less a lesson in writing than in life! It helped put me on a path of understanding the all-important difference between human knowledge and skills, and the Mind-directed rightness that takes shape in our lives through transparency to God’s infinite goodness and intelligence.”
During the past few years, I have had many experiences that seemed so hard to face that I knew I couldn’t manage them humanly. In one instance, I faced an illness that prompted medical intervention and surgery. After the surgery, it seemed that I would be subjected to endless rounds of doctor visits and prescriptions. I knew that I wanted to be a Christian Scientist, so I prayed deeply, humbly to know how to free myself. What came to me was to read the “Patient’s Bill of Rights,” which states clearly that a patient has the right to refuse treatment. I was able to share that conviction in an email to the doctors, and they let me go without argument.
A second challenge occurred when I was required to teach remotely and then in a hybrid classroom, with some students in the room and some online. There were so many new skills I needed, but I had no interest in learning them. When I stopped raging inwardly at the injustice of it all and truly listened, I recognized that I could do this for my students because God loved them, and I did too. Again, it was humility that brought me through.
Finally, I have recently been able to truly let go of my adult children. To do this, I had to recognize, really deeply feel, that they are God’s and not mine. That humble recognition has released me from any sense of sadness about their moving out into the world and living their own lives.
So…have I transformed from Saul to Paul yet? Not quite! But I am increasingly seeing how the “human history” can be revised “and the material record expunged.” It’s through humility.